extensions

When a civilian hears the word "extensions," what is their first thought? Hair extensions? Tax file extension? Maybe something else... I can't be sure. It's been some time since I've felt like a civilian, even though, technically, I am a civilian.

When the Army community (I'd include the other branches, but this epidemic seems to only be affecting the Army) hears "extension", our response is automatic. We don't think of Paris Hilton and how it's possible for her to have really short hair one day, and long locks another. No, our response is automatic... fear grips, and desperation clings to the back of the throat. We hold our breathe while battalions, brigades, and sometimes, divisions are announced. In some instances... none are announced. This just leaves us thinking of hope. Praying... it's not us, it's not our neighbors, it's no one that we know... that is "extended". Then again, how can we not fret for our "brothers and sisters"? How can we not?

Our response is automatic... tour "extensions". We hate them. They come at the most inopportune time: anytime.

The worst thing about the announcement of "extensions"... is when we hear it on network news. When we haven't been given the respect of knowing before the general public knows... my mom knew before I. This is a serious flaw in the dissemination process. You may, or may not, recall this post last November in which I expressed my excitement for the changes to come. The announcement of "extensions", does not bode well for my attitude towards the Secretary of Defense... no, it does not.

Excitement does not linger. It loiters. It pisses me off. I haven't the official "your husband's unit will deploy for 15 months" confirmation yet so it leaves wanting and waiting once again on my freaking doorstep. It's banging on the door and ringing the bell... it's turning hope into anxiety, and loyalty into regret. It doesn't even wipe its feet! It's inconsiderate. It doesn't lay off when I close my eyes at night and attempt to sleep... it fights the muscles in my eyelids... forces my eyes to roll underneath...

"We don't know... what we don't know." I hate that answer.