So, it's Saturday. I haven't "blogged" in a while. I thought maybe my fan base was disappointed. I don't want to let you little geeks down . Well, fret not; there won't be long draining sentences of deployment woe or hesitant optimism in this blog. There will, though, be hope dashed with a bit of fear, as usual. And don't be surprised if there's dirty talk. Leave me alone; Matty's been gone almost 4 months. It's all I have .
I talked with my loving, sweet-as-ever husband today. He's so great. He makes me laugh until milk comes out my nose or an unexpected fart is let go and is louder than anticipated. I had not heard his voice in about eight or so days. This whole experience is making me a stronger person, I hope. It's made realize what I want, who I want it with, and how I want it. It sounds dirty doesn't it? Well, it is. HA. Just kidding... or am I? I can't wait for our lives to be back together. We are still sharing a life only we are sharing it from 7,364 miles apart. And he's carrying a gun and stuff.
My voice is really raspy today. It's from all the screaming I did... oh wait, that was only in my dreams. I guess it's just that strep throat from last week. In June, it will be from screaming. Don't call me then; I'll be screening. If you hadn't guessed (you're dumb, jk) Matt will be home. That will be a glorious time. I was thinking maybe we'd go see a natural wonder like Big Bend or the Grand Canyon, but I decided we'll make our own natural wonder (not a baby, yet). I can't wait, but I have to wait; it will be soon.
There's always fear. I always have fears, but I deal. I deal and I dwell... I try to not do the latter as much. It happens. It's accepted; though not as welcome. My family and friends help so, so much. Jayel... I know you have your own things to deal with; I know you try to feed your boys, hold the phone with no hands, and listen to me cry or bitch every now and then. Thank god we have free Sprint-to-Sprint. I'm thankful. I'm grateful. I hope it shows. I love you.
Yvonne and Sandra came all the way to poopie Killeen to see my lazy butt. It was cool. We watched a movie, ate spicy small fat burgers and made margaritas. They show concern and sincere love to me when I need it most desperately. They are truly great friends. I cherish them both. Plus, they help me burn those extra 1,000 calories when we go out dancing!
I can't leave out Zora. She might cry in the corner if I don't mention her soon. I love her smiling, happy, drooling little face. Without that wagging tail awaiting my every move, I just don't know what I would do. I'd be mighty lonely. I do love having someone to nurture.
Let us not forget the ever handsome Matty. My love. I can't imagine when I didn't know you. Was there ever such a time? In my eyes, we've always been together, even when we were apart. He calls when he can, hides his own fear of his surroundings to help me stay strong; keeps his cool; keeps some normalcy in conversation; writes me sweet, sweet letters; hopefully, sends pictures soon ; and tells me he loves me a million times over. I love you more than having the nicest grass on the block (and you know that's my pride and joy). Compared with forever, a year is nothing.
bathed in stellar breezes
