shitty friends

There are many times when I have the most overwhemling desire to scream... but I don't. I remain silent; I only scream inside. When inside I blare, and my outside I just breathe... it's still obvious. My eyes can't hide shit, my voice always gives me away; So, I have no secrets. I am an open fucking book. Chapter by chapter one can flip through my inner workings, divulging my darkest thoughts to anyone who might ask, and solve the puzzle... revealing me.

Most pretend not to know. They don't ask, but I can see it (or hear it)... they wonder, but don't ask. Something is bothering me, but it's ignored. Avoidence is so easy... too easy. Only a real friend would ask.

There are people who are just starting the journey I started not too long ago... I am still here, still enduring... but, it seems to be forgotten. I seem to have been forgotten. Even though I know the feeling... of waiting... and now they know... but still I'm forgotten. I know this... I know I cannot rely on anyone, but myself. I am my own keeper. It is my responsiblity to "look after" me.

I'll still be here, enduring, and enduring... and fucking dealing like usual.

F-ing shitty friends.

Flown by Sheridan

It feels good to feel so good
It's like I've been misunderstood
And I've tried to hold on to you
But there's nothing else to hold on to
If you open your eyes only once
You would have known

This bird has flown
Long ago
I'm already gone

Took a long time to finally see
Now I'm stronger than I used to be
And we don't need to say goodbye
Cause we've done that so many times
And it never occured to you once
You're all alone

This bird has flown
Long ago
I'm already gone

And I've tried so many times to talk to you
But there's just so many things
You can put me through
If you'd open your eyes you would know
You're all alone

This bird has flown
Long ago
I'm already gone

Already gone...
Already gone...