something other than...

I've just completed the final for my nutrition class. Go on, ask me what Vitamin A or D does... or Selenium, Zinc or Pantothenic Acid. I'm actually surprised I can spell PA out completely.
Sometimes, I drink too much wine, and I have a desire so great for chocolate that I'm willing to walk where ever I can to get come peanut butter cups (then again, I gave up PB... right...). Other times, I drink just enough, and it's makes me ponder the great possibilities that are this life. This life... what a strange concept. This life I have... who ever thought? Certainly none of you; those of you that know me, anyway. Well, this life is good, tough... but, who's life is easy, right? I should be so lucky. I have become impatient with those in my life who I expect certain things from; those I've been close to in the past; those I wish I were still close to, but can't seem to find common ground anymore. I expect support. Maybe that's irrational of me. I can't expect everyone to value what I value just because they are friends or even, family. No, I can't. I can only expect understanding... or can I? I'm unsure what the proper protocol is... what I should say, do, act like so that they don't feel uncomfortable because they have no words for me. Why does everyone think I need their words? Because conception is lacked... I guess. Because it's easy to put something out of your mind when it doesn't stare you in the face each morning. When you don't live something everyday, say paralysis, for example, it's natural to want to offer your help or sympathy when it isn't necessary. But, I'm sure, even people who need it the most get tired of being treated like a sick creature... as if they'd break were one word to be spoken of their condition or situation. As if I'm that fragile...
Be there, or don't... it's that simple.
I guess it takes something, such as this, for a person to realize whom she/he can count on. I know now.
wine in hand and craving chocolate,
Vanessa