saved or destroyed?

Ever feel like one moment could break you? But, you take the leap because it could, potentially, be your redemption? I hate making decisions. Either way could come out in your favor and either way could come out tragic. Life changing... and some... minuscule. Minuit, even. Of no consequence. We don't even want to think about the ones that could end us... leave us broken and destroyed. We always hope to be redeemed and saved.

So many things... so many decisions have led me here. How many keep me where I am? How many destroy my future? So many make me... just one could break me. I wish I could predict the one that would be my rescue. I wish I wish I wish. I wish... I could wish, and it were so simple. I want to know the end of me. I want to feel so vulnerable. Anything to feel anything so alive... anything to stop... to stop the repetition.

I hope to be right.


Kelly Clarkson- Sober
And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely

So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

But I know it's never really over
And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me

So I won't worry about my timing,
I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands
I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

Be Still

Who says American Idol never produces anything great? Damn them, I say.

Be Still- Kelly Clarkson

Far, away from it all
You and me with no one else around
A brand new start
Is all we need, it’s all we need to mend these hearts
Back to the beginning

Be still
Let it go

Before we lost hope
When we still touched and love wasn’t so hard

Be still
I already know

Foolish one with the smile
You don’t have to be brave
Every time we fall down
But we’re falling from grace
I’ll gladly climb your walls
if you’ll meet me halfway

Slow, slow it down
Why do we run, we’re missing so much babe
Just lay in my arms for a while and...

Be still
We should’ve known

Foolish one with the smile
You don’t have to be brave
I’ll gladly climb your walls
If you’ll meet me halfway
Every time we fall down
But we’re falling from grace
Here’s my hand and my heart
It’s yours to
take

Be still

Stay

This song is so pretty. I've never been a fan of Sugarland... but, this is the first song from them that I've really heard how pretty her voice can be... the lyrics are below, and here is their page toget a listen.

"Stay"- Sugarland

I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying

And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting
With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying

What so I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

You keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bare
To love a man you have to share

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah

"Tonight"

I love this song. I'm unsure the reason, but it makes me warm. It's a beautiful song... even if you aren't a country music fan. The melancholy lyrics are of comfort... comfort in "the wrong", feeling strangely right. There's something to behold in all its fault... a human being.

"Tonight"- Sara Evans
If I had a weakness
You sure found it tonight
Some hidden desperation
You saw floatin' in my eyes
Moments just like these baby
Wrong can feel so right
And I don't wanna go home tonight
I've held it all together
As long as I can
There's pieces of me fallin'
Right into your hands
And don't the lies come easy baby
When the truth just ain't worth the fight
No I, I don't wanna go home tonight

[Chorus]
So lay me down easy
And hold on tight
And tell me I'm the only one you see tonight
Lonely woman, lonely man
There's just some things only lonely understands

I might be just a sinner
Who wants to be a saint
One justifies the reason
Oh, one understands the pain
And I don't know what's wrong baby
And I sure don't know what's right
But I don't wanna go home tonight

[Chorus]
Click here to hear the song: http://www.saraevans.com/pages/music/restless.htm

A Million Tears

When the beast that is insomnia beats me to a pulp of barely recognizable matted hair, I find myself sifting through the Internet. Into the wee hours of the night my eyes, open or closed, inhale enormous amounts of information. On occasion, I come across content that doesn't resemble poo.

But that is not the point... as I do this, I set Windows Media Player to random. It's actually a great thing because I have something short of 4,000 music files on my computer, and only a 1GB memory card for my MP3 player... so, it's quite logical to say I don't hear most of this music often. So, I'm reminded of oldies... not really old music, but music that doesn't fit into my workouts, so it's not on my player. I came across this song...

I remember how I cried to it when hubby first left for Iraq. Her different style and voice are both interesting and different... refreshing even. I don't like her "Pretty Enough", but there are many of her songs I enjoy...

Without further delay... I wait to sleep.

A Million Tears- Kasey Chambers

take my hand
break my stride
make me smile
for every time I've cried

hold my heart
in the palm of your hand
don't listen to it breakin'
just listen to the band

do you wanna ride in my car
it's parked out on the street
or just stay with me a while
before I fall asleep

take these tears
wash your skin
I'm havin' trouble breathin'
since you walked in

my hands are tied
my head is reelin'
my eyes have cried
a million tears
from wishin' you were here

all my life
I've welcomed pain
I've made up more excuses
to bring it back again

now I'm here
and I'll drink to the shame
I'll drink to the madness
that made me this way

my hands are tied
my head is reelin'
my eyes have cried
a million tears
from wishin' you were here

take these tears
wash your skin
I'm havin' trouble breathin'
since you walked in...

short and sweet

Those of you that know me, know I have a huge obsession with everything SUPERMAN... or SUPERGIRL (I prefer "woman", but whatever). Supergirl underwear (let me check... yup, wearing some now), Supergirl PJ shorts, Superman tees, refrigerator magnets, notepads (thanks Trish), air freshers in the shape of the Superman and Supergirl emblem... the house of El... okkkkaaayyy... Anyway, the point is, I love Superman. Smallville.... greatest! I love Tom Welling... oh man. But, I have a serious crush on Michael Rosenbaum, Mr. Lex Luthor himself. So, most would see this, and think maybe it's an isolated incident. Maybe she's not a science fiction fan... just a fluke!? Nope... Chronicles of Narnia... what great books (and movie... even though they started on the SECOND book). I love vampire movies, the X-men, Batman, and the like. Anyway, what's my point? Well, I've discovered (well, I didn't discover it), a new show called Heroes. It's sooooo good. If you haven't seen it, and even if this sort of super hero theme isn't your bag, you should watch it. It's so good. Now, in my search for a Heroes site, I came across a MySpace fansite for the show, and thus discovered Rogue Wave. The song below is on my MySpace site. (note: the name of my MySpace is "supermcgraws"... okay?) Below are the lyrics to said song, called "Eyes". Short and sweet. Check them out; they have some other great songs on their page.


Rogue Wave- Eyes

missed the last train
home birds pass by
to tell me that im not alone
well im pushing myself
to finish this part
i can handle a lot
but one thing i'm missing
is in your eyes

(chorus)
in your eyes
in your eyes
in your eyes

have you seen this film
it reminds me of walking
down the avenue
well im washing my hands
of attachments,
yeah i will land on the ground
but one thing i’m missing
is in your eyes

(chorus)

PS My husband also shares this obsession over Superman with me... which is why we were made for one another... See picture. :) That artist drew our bodies so realistically................

dusk and summer

I bought Dashboard Confessional's new album, Dusk and Summer, today. I'm digging it so far... and, as I do with most albums, have already picked out a few favorite songs. These, of course, will change as I overplay the CD. Here are the lyrics to the title track, Dusk and Summer. "Simple yet refined." Have a great day.

Dashboard Confessional- Dusk and Summer
She smiled in a big way
The way a girl like that smiles
When the world is hers
And she held your eyes

Out in the breezeway
Down by the shore
In the lazy summer

And she pulled you in
And she bit your lip
And she made you hers

And she looked
Deep into you as you lay together
Quiet in the grasp
Of dusk and summer

But you've already lost
But you've already lost
But you've already lost

When you only had
Barely enough
To hang on

And she combed your hair
And she kissed your teeth
And she made you better
Than you'd been before

And she told you bad things
You wished you could change
In the lazy summer

And she told you laughing
Down to her core
So she would not cry
As she lay in your lap

And she said
Nobody here can live forever
Quiet in the grasp
Of dusk and summer

But you've already lost
But you've already lost
But you've already lost

When you only had
Barely enough
To hang on

And she said no one is alone
The way you are alone
And you held her looser
than you would have
If you ever could have known

Some things tie your life together
In slender threads of things to treasure
Days like that should last and last and last

But you've already lost
But you've already lost
But you've already lost

When you only had
Barely enough
Of her to hang on