recollection

Ahh yes, I remember this...
I remember the feel of his steaming breath on my neck at night. I remember how incompatible we are with our sleeping arrangements. I remember how he scoots closer and closer to me at night with his head on my chest, and I inch closer to the edge of the bed.
I remember.
I remember how it used to feel like a three ton elephant shared the bed. When he breathed in, I'd prepare myself for a "morning breath" of humid air on my chest... like Chinese water torture. I remember how eventually, I would wiggle him onto his back so that I could get some rest.
He remembers too. See... this is nonnegotiable in his book. He needs to be next to (on top of) me at night, and I need my space.
So, as I drift to sleep, I stroke his hair in remembrance of this pesky little thing called love.
I kiss his forehead,
and,
I
give
in.

my sheets lay empty... while I'm in them.

I've been contemplating my lack of appreciation lately. It seems, well, it's not that high, but I do take some things for granted. I have many things for which to be thankful. Friends; Family; a sweet dog who hangs on my every move... even if it means stepping on my heals; I have a roof over my head, food on my plate, and I could go on and on about the luxuries I enjoy, which many do not... but, the sweetest thing I enjoy... having someone to miss as desparetely as I do. Many would forget after 7.5 months of absence. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, but a prolonged period can make the heart forget... my heart only ponders. Not every person can say that they have missed someone as badly as I... I'm lucky. I'm lucky I have someone coming... I'm lucky I have someone loving... I'm just lucky.

Patty Griffin- Not Alone
She sees him laying in the bed alone tonight
The only thing a touching him is a crack of light
Pieces of her hair are wrapped around and 'round his fingers
And he reaches for her side, for any sign of her that lingers
And she says you are not alone
Laying in the light
Put out the fire in your head
And lay with me tonight
One of them bullets went straight for the jugular vein
There were people running , a flash of light
Then everything changed
Nothing really matters in the end you know
All the worrys sever
Don't be afraid for me my friend,
one day we all fall down forever
She says you are not alone
Laying in the light
Put out the fire in your head
And lay with me tonight
The wedding date was June just like any other bride
She loved him like no one before and it was good to be alive
But sometimes that can slip away as fast
As any fingers through your hands
So you let time forgive the past and go and make some other plans
You are not alone
Laying in the light
Put out the fire in your head
And lay with me tonight
You are not alone
Laying in the light
Put out the fire in your head
And lay with me tonight