saved or destroyed?

Ever feel like one moment could break you? But, you take the leap because it could, potentially, be your redemption? I hate making decisions. Either way could come out in your favor and either way could come out tragic. Life changing... and some... minuscule. Minuit, even. Of no consequence. We don't even want to think about the ones that could end us... leave us broken and destroyed. We always hope to be redeemed and saved.

So many things... so many decisions have led me here. How many keep me where I am? How many destroy my future? So many make me... just one could break me. I wish I could predict the one that would be my rescue. I wish I wish I wish. I wish... I could wish, and it were so simple. I want to know the end of me. I want to feel so vulnerable. Anything to feel anything so alive... anything to stop... to stop the repetition.

I hope to be right.


Kelly Clarkson- Sober
And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely

So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

But I know it's never really over
And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me

So I won't worry about my timing,
I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands
I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers