I'm not a Soldier, but I've got soul

On a night, such as tonight, with clear skies, and mild temperatures, I'm indoors. I'm indoors enjoying the free electricity that pumps out freezing air in the form of air conditioning. Hey, why not... right. I'm enjoying free AC, jamming to my cell phone's MP3 player, and yelling at my dog every 5 minutes to quit eating herself out! It's a rough life, right..?

6 weeks... 6 fucking weeks. Man, why does it still feel so far away? My neighbor across the street says "goodbye" tomorrow night to her husband. It's so sad. I can feel the atmosphere... I can remember the atmosphere. I remember the fear... I can feel the uncertainty. Think you know uncertainty? Trying being one of the wives on this block... or in this life... then complain. You won't... not about your mundane "uncertainties"... no you wouldn't. I can smell the disbelief. "Is this really happening?" "Is this really my life?" It's so surreal. I know. I know. I creeps up on you, the "leaving". It creeps in like the tide... slow, yet aggressive. You ignore it for a time; life continues as though it were "normal". Then, like a wave destroys a sand castle, you've forgotten to breathe in all the love, it's gone. He leaves... and you're left with "everyday". . . every day with its lingering longing, forever draining on the senses. All you feel is empty. I know this.

I remember wishing, "Why can't it be next year?" And, shit, here it is "next year". This time last year my husband was on a 50 day rotation in Fort Irwin, and in a few months would be gone. Now, he will be home in less than 2 months... less than 2 months. It feels so close... as if my fingertips are touching a thread that hangs from his powder blue shirt. I can't cling to it, I can only feel as it tickles... and blows in the hot wind. I can feel the warmth of his smile in his eyes when we speak... he waits to touch my face... I long to snuggle, nose to nose.

Time passes so slowly... and yet, opportunity is lost with one breath.

Fret not... dear friends, your dues shall be paid, and love restored to its proper place. I know my life coming back full circle means yours is interrupted... Roles will reverse once again in a years time.

Good luck.