What's the appropriate wallowing time? one week? a few days? I hope I don't exceed some set standard. I feel like the "Wild Nights" marathon (on Discovery you freaks) was far too much wallowing yesterday. The 15 days before he got home... a freaking eternity... the 15 days he was home... never long enough... 15 days feels like a small appetizer when you're starving for a 15oz. Ribeye because you haven't eaten all day... or in 8 months. Although, it was grand... let it not be overshadowed by one wife's whining. It was grand. It was nice to jump right back into our "tease/love each other constantly" routine. I can't believe I've lived this long without him... I can't believe I must live longer, without him. I can't believe a lot of things. Most of all... I can't believe myself sometimes.
This is my life, and I live for this life (obviously). I wonder sometimes if he got out of the Army... how I wouldn't be an "Army Wife" anymore... a fact many t-shirts I have shout to any passer-by. What t-shirts am I going to get now?? Crap.
Deployment... so many stages of it. It's impossible to relate if you've never experienced it. Now, thinking about each moment without him, is too impossible... too impossible. Too surreal... Now, I know. Now, I know what every moment feels like when he is away. There are no "good" byes... it was a long, hard, "bad" bye... harder than the first. The reality was there, and now it is here, eating a hole in my stomach lining. It fucking hurts.
Pictures: www.dropshots.com/vmcgraw
2 comments:
Whenever you want to come cuddle with me you know where I am... Kisses and hugs
Much easier for me to 'deploy' to the office 4ks from my house. Poor MissShroom having to be a engineers wife.....the scale rulers are killin her.....
Nice pic, hope things are well for you and hubby comes home again as soon as.
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