Support: a one-way street?

Support: a one-way street? Current mood: silent
I want to blog. I need to blog... but a good blog escapes my mind.
Support... is hard to ask for... I refuse to beg.
Support is easy to accept.
Support shouldn't be so hard to offer.
It is easy to give... it is so fucking simple.
I'm missing things... numerous things. Aside from the obvious, I'm missing certain company I used to be afforded. It's just gone. I am at a loss at how to get it back... you see, I'm not sure how I lost it. It claims to still be there, but it's obviously different. It's forced... it's there out of obligation, not desire.
I miss it terribly.
I miss Matt, also. So bad my eyes burn, but do not tear, thinking of his hand. The tears well up, and recede. They wait for another day. Another day when I'm not so exhausted from other (more stressful and confusing) delimas. So emotionally drained I don't even want to cry.... for fear I might not stop.
Not having the answer.. fucking sucks.