I wear a flower for him

Sometimes, I forget to say it; I take it for granted. Sometimes, I foget to tell him I'm proud. Proud to be his wife, proud to be waiting here, patiently; he gives me so many reasons to be proud... but, mostly, I'm proud of him. What a strong man he is... I can't wait to watch him be a father. He knows I'm proud. He also knows I love him, but I don't hang up the phone without telling him that at least 10 times.

Today is the 6 month mark. Six months, no Matthew. Letters, phone calls, and many emails keep my love close to me... though he's 7,364 miles away. It's been 11 days since he's called. It, sadly, gets easier to go longer without speaking... still, there are those days when there isn't much going on... I don't have a lot to busy my mind... I get to thinking. I think about him sitting on a watch tower in the sunset, sweating. He stares at the sunset without sunglasses (like we always do); he pulls a letter or picture from his vest... reads or just looks... he puts it away, replaces his sunglasses and helmet, and gets back to work. He allows himself just moments of pondering... I ponder a hundred fold.
Thank God for distraction.

Goodbye My Lover- James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.