Easy Silence

I rest in the shadow of lovers... all the while, a tense look holds my face. I can spend an entire day in my house. I don't have to leave... if only to check the mail, and water my plants... which, is still, unnecessary. This is easy. I don't really have to shower; I don't have to get out of my comfortable pajamas. I have many things to busy my mind. The hardest part... is the waiting, naturally. Waiting... waiting for the clock to sink down to 5pm... water the grass... 6pm.... eat dinner... 7pm... read a bit...8pm... watch my shows...9pm... get online; check for a few lines from Matt... 10pm... sleep. It's like waiting for a sign from God that never comes. I get in bed, and spend the better part of the next hour attempting sleep. I give up eventually, and open my eyes. I stare at the ceiling using the bit of light coming in from the dim street lamps. I think about running... I think about running through an airport terminal... I think about jumping... jumping into his arms... wrapping my legs around him... and I think about crying.
Finally, at some point, which is unknown to me, I drift off to sleep. During REM, I have dreams; weird dreams. For example, I'm married to Larry the Cable Guy, and he gets fatter and more disgusting by the second as we sit at McDonalds... where Matt works. I make out with Matt in the bathroom and ask to borrow money. Strange... I told you.
I can drink this apple cider and stare out the window... praying, praying that no one in blue uniform ever approaches. I can hold my breath as I walk to answer a knock or ring of the doorbell... I can release when it's just the neighbor with banana bread, or a margarita. I can relax.
I can hide in the shadows for only so long... soon, the sun will beam with the light of our own lover's shadow...
Here's to peaceful rest.