Praise jesus for my new boat!
What a pretty sunset...
And the best part of our day...
There were a ton of ballons and the windows were down...
Finally, at some point, which is unknown to me, I drift off to sleep. During REM, I have dreams; weird dreams. For example, I'm married to Larry the Cable Guy, and he gets fatter and more disgusting by the second as we sit at McDonalds... where Matt works. I make out with Matt in the bathroom and ask to borrow money. Strange... I told you.
I can drink this apple cider and stare out the window... praying, praying that no one in blue uniform ever approaches. I can hold my breath as I walk to answer a knock or ring of the doorbell... I can release when it's just the neighbor with banana bread, or a margarita. I can relax.
I can hide in the shadows for only so long... soon, the sun will beam with the light of our own lover's shadow...
Here's to peaceful rest.
A day without distraction is like Earth without the sun. Without the sun, there'd be no sunrises or sunsets. There would be no green or brown; no red or blue. Stars wouldn't be something to marvel. They'd always be there... they might even hide. The world would have more electric light, more gas powered equipment... so, the stars would hide. We wouldn't notice when one burned out. No one would look up. A day without distraction is a day without you; uselss, somber, and unimportant.
I can't wait to hold him... but, mostly... I can't wait to be held. The slightest touch in an elevator... a brush of someone's forearm... is enough to remind me of Matty's hand. I breathe deep, close my eyes, breathe out, and finish the day. Somedays I am dangerously close to the edge... the edge of what remains uncertain. I am faithful, loyal, and hopefully, respectful and appropriate. I know what he would and would not like... I try to stay between the lines in this coloring book of life. Sometimes, though, I screw up the outline... but the pictures is always worth saving.
My Traveling Soldier is on the road.
I've become a master eye reader. It's interesting to see a person's mood change in the "blink of an eye", literally. Whether it be from happiness to despair, contentment to absolute bliss, computing to understanding or sadness to joy... it's all displayed in a person's eyes. Words can lie, but eyes always tell the truth. I've tried to control my own eyes in the past, but soon realized this is pointless. I just let them be... and they tell stories for me. I love not saying what need not be said because my eyes do it for me. Even when someone glances to the side or up in the sky, millions of things are revealed. What your eyes say, or don't say, make mystery difficult, yet leave lingering longing in the balance.
My eyes long to see a certain someone you've come to know as "Matty".
If anyone watched American Idol last night... yes, I'm guilty. I record it, though... I fast forward just to see what the judges say; except Paula, I can't stand her. "You're a star!" "You move me!" That time she cried... Jesus!
Anyway... I have a few favorites including Elliot Yamin. He sang "Home" by Michael Buble last night. I much prefer the way Elliot sang it (although, Michael is a bit of a hottie) to this version on myspace: ttp://www.myspace.com/michaelbubleunofficial. But it is a great song. The lyrics are below.
Well, you can imagine why I like the song. Of course, it reminds me of Matty. I wonder if he feels this way; I wonder what he'd blog had he the time. I would like to read that, I think.
I talked to him on Monday. His batalion is getting ready for a big move. He says it's a good move; that they will be safer. He also said they've been doing an outstanding job, and that he'd tell me about it sometime after he got out of the Army. I agreed that to be fair. He said he's mad about the things he's missed... I said to him, "Honey, when I think about your deployment, I do think about how sad I am that you're not here, and how scared I get that you may never be here. But, mostly, I don't focus on what we are missing. Rather, I think about all the great adventures we shall have when you return home." Compared with forever, a year is nothing.
Another summer day
has come and gone away
In Paris or Rome...but I wanna go home...uhm Home
may be surrounded by
a million people I
still feel all alone
just wanna go home
I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters
that I wrote to you,
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane, another sunny place,
I'm lucky I know
but I wanna go home
I got to go homeLet me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living
someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
when everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me
This was not your dream
but you always believed in me...
Another winter dayHas come and gone away
in either Paris or Rome
and I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
still feel alone
Let me go home
I miss you , you know
Let me go home
I've had my runbaby I'm done
I gotta go homeLet me go home
it'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
