I'm such a tortured soul. I've been in and out of disappointment and now the worst has befallen this tragic hero. You've saturated my fat cells far too long. At first, I thought our little indiscretions were just between you and me but, I've come to realize our sorted relationship has become 2-4 pounds of excess baggage. I'm ending my love affair with you, PB. It's was as great as it was long. But, the time has come... I will miss those picnics in the park, with you, Jelly and Whole Wheat. I'll never forget how you comforted me on a spoon or melted on a piece of warm Whole Wheat. You and Honey made such an excellent pair, all gooey and dripping. Cookies, snack bars, shakes, ice cream, biscotti... the list goes on and on. In pure form, you've melted my taste buds past satisfaction. I can't even think about you and Chocolate; he will almost miss you as much as I. Apple, Celery and Cracker all bid you farewell but, it is not as bitter and un-sweet as the kiss I give you goodbye. I will forever treasure the hunger you quenched. For all these and many more reasons I must offer a parting peck. For the hour is past in which you take your excess calories to the trash... Adieu!