erased onto paper

Google

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 05:13:00 +0000

I got googled. OMG weird. Whomever googled me.. hung out on my blog.. well, this damn thing, for a freakin' while. CREEPY. Someone googled me. ICK.

awesomeness

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Wed, 07 May 2008 10:30:00 +0000

yeah...

about me

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:45:00 +0000

I'm uncomplicated, and pretend not to fake it. I like to say things like "Heck ya!" "So, I got that goin' for me," "Good talk, guys," and "Yo," a lot. I'm generally in a good mood most times, and I like to be made to laugh until I think I might pee a little. I enjoy dancing... either alone in my house... sometimes naked, or out and until I'm completely dripping in sweat. I sing poorly. I hate being called "princess". I give everyone a hard time. Worry if I'm quiet around you. What I drive has no importance to me other than gas mileage and safety. I call myself a "windows down kind of gal". If it's cold outside, I like to put on a sweater, turn up the heater on my feet, and drive at 70 miles an hour with all the windows open... music cranked. There are a lot of things I want that I cannot have and a lot of things I have for which I never asked. And, well... I deal. Well? Who knows... I just deal.

art work on your body???

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 23:22:00 +0000

This

becomes this
becomes this
and this...

Jason Steele- Str8line-254-699-2500

I need a new theme song

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 01:58:00 +0000

Seriously.

saved or destroyed?

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 03:23:00 +0000

Ever feel like one moment could break you? But, you take the leap because it could, potentially, be your redemption? I hate making decisions. Either way could come out in your favor and either way could come out tragic. Life changing... and some... minuscule. Minuit, even. Of no consequence. We don't even want to think about the ones that could end us... leave us broken and destroyed. We always hope to be redeemed and saved.

So many things... so many decisions have led me here. How many keep me where I am? How many destroy my future? So many make me... just one could break me. I wish I could predict the one that would be my rescue. I wish I wish I wish. I wish... I could wish, and it were so simple. I want to know the end of me. I want to feel so vulnerable. Anything to feel anything so alive... anything to stop... to stop the repetition.

I hope to be right.

Kelly Clarkson- Sober
And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely

So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

But I know it's never really over
And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me

So I won't worry about my timing,
I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands
I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am
Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up
Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

No doubt a person living happy with only one heart lacks oxygen to the appropriate parts of the brain...

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 21:30:00 +0000

E.E. Cummings. I carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

********************************

Who ever said that their life was whole without two hearts? I'd like to meet them. I'd like to methodically break down their idea of happiness. I'd like to know step by step, aspect by aspect how they came to be happy. I would read a 500 page book on happiness minus one heart. I'd like to hear their heart beating alone. No doubt I'd find a murmur... a piece of longing. No doubt they'd end up in tears because there lies a flaw in their plan. Like seeing the sun rise and not caring to see it set... Unfinished.

Who ever said life continues with one heart?

Be Still

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 00:59:00 +0000

Who says American Idol never produces anything great? Damn them, I say.

Be Still- Kelly Clarkson

Far, away from it all
You and me with no one else around
A brand new start
Is all we need, it’s all we need to mend these hearts
Back to the beginning

Be still
Let it go

Before we lost hope
When we still touched and love wasn’t so hard

Be still
I already know

Foolish one with the smile
You don’t have to be brave
Every time we fall down
But we’re falling from grace
I’ll gladly climb your walls
if you’ll meet me halfway

Slow, slow it down
Why do we run, we’re missing so much babe
Just lay in my arms for a while and...

Be still
We should’ve known

Foolish one with the smile
You don’t have to be brave
I’ll gladly climb your walls
If you’ll meet me halfway
Every time we fall down
But we’re falling from grace
Here’s my hand and my heart
It’s yours to
take

Be still

Don't quote me.

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 00:53:00 +0000

Begin quote

I don't fake it.

Expression. It's own language. 'Your epression... it's saying something, but I can't read it.'

If he looked long enough. He could.

End Quote

After a long absence...

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 17:39:00 +0000

It's nice to hit random goal...

this... really... this just in...

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 12:32:00 +0000

OH gees... been a while. I've neglected my blogging responsibilities. Not to mention many many others. But that's neither here nor there! Anyway, the best way to describe the last few months is to share with you the lessons I've learned...

Lesson 1.

No margaritas. Seriously, tequila... my crazy drink. I'm bound to do anything when drinking tequila. I mean it. Anything. Oh for an example... I'm just thinking on my feet here... an example, say moon border patrol.

Lesson 2.

Two dogs... better than one.

Lesson 3.

Heroes exist. They can be anyone. I used to think that a Soldier was the greatest hero, but that is a direct result of my lifestyle. I've been working for fire fighters for two months now. They sacrifice more than people realize. No wonder people always think they are the coolest... not to mention hottest. I love my job.

Lesson 4.

No amount of dancing is going to quench my desire. I'll never dance enough. I don't "get my fix"... no. I get a ton of dancing one night, and after a day or two or recovery from the blisters on my feet (from a pair of adorably hot shoes), the sore muscles in my legs, and extra sleep... I'm ready to do it all over again. I don't think that will ever go away. But, I'm not quiting. I quit smoking because I new my addiction to nicotine would never be satisfied by one, two, or even ten cigarettes. This is not the case with dancing. I'll continue to boogie my way to closing time, and look hot doing it. I hope the later is true for at least another 10 years.

Lesson 5.

Eban... my best friend. I always knew that she was my best friend. But... not only that... she understands me better than most. And, I think I return the favor. I get her. I can only hope the people she chooses to surround herself with (now that she's moved) grant her the same courtesy of complete understanding, non-judgement, and honesty as I feel I do. Nothing is more sad that a girl that leaves the house for a club wearing an awful outfit. You just know... her friends lied to her.

Lesson 6.

I have a serious shoe problem. Not like, I have every color of flip flops imaginable problem, but like I think about shoes a lot, and expensive shoes. Not cheap ones. I like expensive shoes... peep toe (oh my god), red, black, strapy, green (I need some green shoes), pink, high heal, flats, slides, mules... you name it... I like it. It's beginning to get so bad, I'm going to have to kick my husband out of the closet. He may have to move into the spare room closet.

Lesson 7.

Blogging becomes a ton harder when you work all the time. Sorry for all the blogs I neglected to read. When I have like a moment... I promise to catch up!!

Have a nice day!!!

there are more ways than one...

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 15:14:00 +0000

... to find my page. Here are a few, in case you ever get lost.

"erased on paper super girl"
OH! Treachery is afoot!

"thread the damn bobbin"
Rouge sewing machine?

"I am a shitty friend"
Now wait just a minute...

"jody bar"
Naturally.

I'm a recruiter

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 20:42:00 +0000

To anyone who will listen, I blabber on about how cool Nike+ iPod really is... "and you Can challenge each other" "track your progress" "meet your own goals" yada yada... Finally, someone took me at my word and started using Nike+ iPod. You'll notice to your right (and below), I've posted a challenge. First to 100 miles between George and myself. Should be fun... she's lucky, though. She gets runs on Lake Superior and nice breezes. I get gnats in my face on the same old dusty track.

The race is on!

Get traffic to your page!

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 18:32:00 +0000

Blog the words "Jody Bar" anywhere... and I gurantee your reader count will increase times two! About 31% of my traffic, is from that phrase...

Gee... thanks "Army Wives" for bringing me closer to other spouses that would like to cheat.

Have a great day.

Before and After

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 23:57:00 +0000

No... it's not the Wheel of Fortune. It's just another project by me!
This took me all day... I'm beat!
Before (well sort of... I already started)

and after...

And now... we fest!

Game over.

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 12:28:00 +0000

Even though it was a slow week... woo hoo!

Wet... but it ain't sweat!

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 15:15:00 +0000

People complain about rain often. "We can't go outside to play." "No swimming today." "Damn it's flooding again!"

We have had more than our share of rain. Frankly, I don't know why people only like the sunshine. Maybe in some coastal or northern city sunshine year round would be acceptable. But, here in Central Texas.. I love clouds and rain. It keeps the temperature down. I had a great run today. Most of the way it was just a light sprinkle. But, the last 2 or so miles... it started pouring. It was awesome. I'm soaked. People are looking at me like I'm crazy... and, I'm hauling ass!

Try it.

New addition to the family...

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 20:19:00 +0000

Meet Lucy, 9weeks old, 14 lbs. already! Just as sweet as she can be...

She loves Zora's bed...

She and Zora get along great. They are already playing together.

She is curious already!
I love my little girls!
Have a great day!

What were you looking for?!

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 21:37:00 +0000

Someone found my blog by searching:

"Jody Bar" military

I guess I'll have to explain what it is... it's stupid.

"Jody" is a term applied to a guy who hits on a Soldier's wife while he is away.

Example:

Soldier: "What did you do today?"

Wife: "Hung out with Jody."

In other words, she was hooking up with her lover!

Make sense? On my run today, I remembered other things about the show that just aren't right. Like Joan, a Lietunient Colonel (LTC), getting drunk and dancing on the bar (a Jody bar, mind you)... Not very realistic.

Also, humvees aren't supposed to drive through residential areas. In the show they do all the time.

Also, Soldier's don't salute in doors. So, the scene at the military ball where one Soldier stands at attention and salutes a Colonel... not so my friends.

Am I ruining it for you? I am aren't I?

Army Wives... Giving away our secrets!

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Wed, 13 Jun 2007 12:31:00 +0000

There is a lot of buzz about the new series on Lifetime... I have to admit, I've seen both episodes. It's okay... I can't be crazy about it because so much of it is sort of... off. Certain things they do such as... one guy cleaning his gun at home. Yea, they don't bring their weapons home! That is so against the rules. But, I guess that's more "Hollywood".

Then, there's the fact that somehow all these women (and one man) know each other, but none of their husbands (or wife) are in the same unit. Yet, they all manage to be part of the same "FRG" and go to the same ball.

Anyway, that's not my biggest complaint. I mean really! Do you have to give away all our secrets? We like speaking in acronyms and having no one else know what we are talking about! It's our own language and now the website has all of that up for grabs! Dang it! And!!!! One wife was a surrogate mother! Well, dammit I was going to do that this summer, but forget it now!

The "Jody" bar is probably my biggest complaint. I didn't always know what a Jody was... I actually only found out just a few months ago. Why did they need to introduce this in the first episode? It's not like we go around talking about Jodys every chance we get... we actually don't talk about them. At least not the people I know!

I'm not sure how many real Army wives will admit to watching this show.

Anyway...

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 17:07:00 +0000

Ahhh... it's a hot day. I was running today and have so much on my mind... all about running. It proves challenging at times to put my sporadic thought into coherent sentences.

I was so tired this morning, so, I didn't get out for a run until late. I checked the weather.... and decided to run, even though it read this:

"Not too humid," I thought. So, I planned on 5 miles. I started running... and I felt great. I was singing along, enjoyng passing all the late morning Soldiers doing PT. Then, my iPod decides it's a good time to reset. I hate when that happens. Luckily it saved my run... so, here is the first part of my run this morning:

So... I had to wait for the thing to reboot, and start again. It was a nice little break. I walked in a circle enjoying the luke warm breeze.

During the next four miles, I felt pretty good. The last mile though, was my slowest. The temperature increased a bit, and my body temp was crazy high.

When I got home, I checked the weather again.. since I felt so hot...

Anyway... so that was that. More to come later... I must go.

Goodbye... Tiga.

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 12:32:00 +0000

Well... Tiga... is gone. She was a sweet kitty, most of the time. She was part "Manx", a fisty breed that has a tendancy to bite. Husband didn't like that... neither do I, however, I wrote it off as one of her personality quirks. Who doesn't like quirks? It's weird to walk into this room and not smell cat litter... nice, but still weird... unexpected. Her food bowls, bed, carrier, litter box.. it's all gone. I'll miss her. Nothing else to say... pictures say it for me...

When Zora was just baby, and when Tiga has a little less "baby" fat.

PS Celeste, please don't kill me. :)

Stat updates

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 15:18:00 +0000

I thought it an appropriate time for an update of my nike+ stats. If you remember this, then you know I'm awesome...

Current PBs:

Fastest 1K
3'59"
Fastest 1-Mile
6'57"
Fastest 3K
13'46"
Fastest 5K
22'41"
Fastest 10K
47'51"
Farthest Run
8.38
Overall Average Pace 8'04"

Woo hoo! My fastest recorded 5K would have been better had the race this weekend had a more acurate course... oh well. I'll just have to beat it on my own. But, for some reason, I run faster with people behind and in front of me. It's not as thrilling all by one's lonesome.

Widgets

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 14:51:00 +0000

Those Nike people are always coming up with cool ways to get motivated (yet they fail to make a good running shoe). Now, you can get codes for your favorite goal, challenge, run or profile, and put them on your website or on myspace.

There is more detail here.

I'm having problem with the html on a blog...but, as you can see... it works to the right>>>>

Have a nice day!

You've won... A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF FROZEN CORN!!!

noreply@blogger.com (essa) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 21:00:00 +0000

The weekend that precedes wasn't a particularly fun weekend for us... Saturday, started off good what with a good race on a rainy morning and all.. then, the real fun began.

For the past few weeks, we've had a flea problem. Our dog is over two, and we've never had this issue before, but, she had been getting eaten alive when we finally noticed. So, being the responsible dog owners (oh yea, we have a cat too), I went to Walmart and purchased everything having to do with flea extinction.... powers, sprays, drops, shampoos, supplements, carpet cleaner, house spray, collars... whatever I could get my hands on, really. I'm sure the checkout person what thinking... "ewwwwwe." I know that was what was going through my mind.

So, after about a week of washing every rug i the house (thank god we have wood floors), giving both animals flea dips, flea shampoos, spray, drops, and collars... I thought the problem would be whipped... hell, I sprayed the stinkiest crap on the furniture to kill fleas, adults... babies... eggs... anything.

A few weeks go by, and the cat is still infested. Shit...

So, another dip, more spray, more drops, clean the collar... done, right?

WRONG...

Zora only has a few at this point.. but, they are making babies! And, I can't vacuum enough to keep them from hatching!

So, I decide it's time to "fog" the house. This consists of the following:

1. unplug the frig and stove
2. turn off all gas valves (stove, putting out the hot water heater pilot)
3. turn off the water cooler (I hate warm water)
4. turn off the air conditioner
5. be sure all windows are closed
6. Zora in the backyard and cat in dog kennel in the backyard (she had water and food, and a nice blanket... oh and Zora who is always trying to share toys... through the cage... she's not bright)
7. put several layers of newspaper where we will put the fogging cans
8. start cans as we head towards the door
9. be gone for 2 hours.

So, we went to the grocery store... hence the title... that comes later.

When we returned we had to open all windows and doors to vent, and stay out for 30 more minutes. When we got back... we began the four hour process of washing every rug, blanket, dish, pot, pan, lid, glass, cup, pillow case, sheets... in the house. I mean everything. I can honestly say that I washed all my kitchen ware in one day... some of them were washed twice. ICK. After about an hour of this process, we noticed that we hadn't exactly opened the windows... stupid storm things. We tried.

Anyway... so, that was Saturday. Then, we got drunk, ate pizza... that was fun.

So, back tracking... husband doesn't shop with me very often. And, well, I must say he was quite the patient one. I usually let him pick out the meats, and poultry when we go to the store. I can pretty much zoom through the isles, and get the remaining things we need. Every time husband does shop with me, we always end up with something in bulk. One time (about 3 years ago) it was soup (one case... one flavor). That crap moved with us twice. We only just finished it. Another time, it was pink lemonade mix (about two years ago). We never drink lemonade... much less pink lemonade! I had to toss it because it's not the sort of thing you can buy in bulk... it sours, attracts ants. I think we maybe had two glasses.. and it was mixed with vodka. Hum, that's twice alcohol has come up in this...

Anyway, coming back to the current bulk item... frozen corn. GEEBERS! This is the largest bag of corn ever! Not only do we already have frozen corn at home, it won't fit into the freezer without some serious maneuvering... he could of at least gotten the frozen corn-on-the-cob... it's better. He also got two large bags of broccoli, and mixed veggies. He better start cooking. We are now the shameful owners of a life time supply of frozen corn. If you get a hankering for some corn, please, visit me.